Never Giving Up On Love

Most of my mind racing begins when I lay my head on that pillow. I keep running through the memories, questioning myself, trying to figure out this thing called love. I would lay in bed and the slightest hint of his memory can make every moment of our relationship come flooding in. It makes it seem like he was never gone, like the pain never came and the love never ended. People say it's the smallest things that truly matter. And the truth is, when it's over it's the simplest things that mean the most. The way we could laugh over the simplistic things in life. How we could act alone together, so childish, yet completely in love. The way he held me at night to how he touched me ever so gently during moments of sorrow. The way he spoke my name. The sweetness in his voice will cease to fade from my memory... It can go on, yet to know these little things weren't enough to keep us together shakes me to my core. No matter how often I dream of waking up to him by my side, they are just dreams. Nothing but a burning desire of mine. And everything that burns is destined to die out with time. It was the sweetness and passion of our love that showed me what it takes to share your heart with another human being. Now all there is to learn is how to share ones whole heart and soul. Till that day comes I have hope.

Who Are You?

We all grow up questioning our personality and means of purpose during the short years we call life. During my childhood I questioned myself quite frequently, always wondering who I was meant to become. We all have these concerns, we put ourselves into a mentality of constant "what ifs" and "is this right for me". For me it's always been a struggle between these questions. The struggle was a pull towards one desire and being torn between two lifestyles. To this day I struggle to find my true calling. I find comfort reading of others struggles, just so I know I'm not alone in this world. So I know I'm not an alien of these feelings. My constant struggle came into question today with the misfortunate events of the Aurora theatre shootings. I thought to myself, what would I have done if I was in that theatre. I think to myself I would be the hero, save lives and take down the bad guy. But no one truly knows what they would have done in that situation. So I put my personality in the spotlight and search for the answer. Am I strong enough to be the hero? Then for once in my life I become absolutely certain of what I am capable of. I believe that is my calling. I'm meant for something so much larger than being a student in this rundown town. I am meant for so much more. I am meant to change lives. To raise my voice to oppression. All I want to know is that I am capable of greatness. So to anyone that questions who they are, never be afraid to dream big. We are all capable of greatness.